Foreign Flowers

hello old lovahh

2009-09-12T00:15:00.004+09:30

Been away from you blog. A lot has happened.

So in 5 months :

I had flew home twice.Once in April for Sambal Sambal opening and in july for...just for going home and working at the cafe and eton's tunang day!! :)

Enrolled in dissapointing classes but I will drag my ass to study it

Catched up with old friends, home comfy friends, and made new bonds with freinds I know I will keep.

Worked at a kebab shop (shitty) and then the place closed down.go figure.

Got a new job after hundreds of application. This time as a tutor..$40/hour.yum! (finally)

Bought a backpack!!!...and sew a malaysian flag to it after Mark told me a traveller's trade tip.

.......things are looking up as it seems. I am happy for many of my friends who I have watched them grow up, and to finally have an idea of who we are as a person. We may never get the whole idea, but getting there..progress yeah..

heard this somewhere. made me go you know what, frack it lets do it!

action is character.if you don't do anything, you don't become anyone.

march up!

2009-03-27T10:31:00.008+10:30

March is weird..and hectic and plentiful. Class started on the 3rd, and our sambal sambal cafe opened on the 26th. In between? Things were hectic and I saw myself running to and fro everyday, but the organzied chaos was wonderful man! Kept me off my nerve to be so anxious about not being home for the opening of sambal sambal. At times I do find myself screaming in my head "get me outta here!" adelaide has that effect at times.

The highlight of march was WOMADelaide. Its a world music and dance event. In a nutshell, there were hippies,quasi-hippies (what a joke haha),rad rad music from countries that I've never heard of, and barefeets a plenty. It was an awesome experience. We saw Cat empire on the second day, they can hold a great gig. The best was discovering this band from Fiji/Canberra called the andi and george band. They play ska/island/fiji/whateveryouwanttoidentifyitas kind of music. The pain from jumping fences was worth it after that.

I hope the rest of the month would be just like march, being away from home does shield you from the political shenanigans back home. I am however, leaving well wishes for everything and everyone. Speaking of quasi-hippies..

oh sod it!

2009-02-25T00:32:00.006+10:30

I have not been writing for so long, except scribbles here and there, major plans that do or do not turn up, and the hand habit thingie. I would love to sit and write about the whole europe adventure so that I could remember it clearer but I'm too ADD at the moment.

Anyway, I'm at CATS with sindhu. I arrived this morning with Put. the vending machine at CATS has toblerone now yay!

The last holiday has been super hectic and productive. Hung out lots more with hemi's friends from boys school and for a change its not just my friends. Tapi pening okay boys school! Penang was super fun.

My train of thoughts are scattered. The one thing that is consistent right now is this urge at the back of my throat to do somethimg do something go somewhere. agggh I can't wait for what me and Eton had planned all along. We, are to be business partners. I found myself reading snippets from business books whenever I can and I hope hope hope things will fall into place. Someone said, if its good,its good.

Somehow, i like the sound of it.

pink elephant!

2009-01-07T19:45:00.002+10:30

The first week of 2009 has been good.The boyfriend is feeding me less though,I really should exercise tapi malas pasal dah gemuk baru nak jogging.
There are no statements resolutions stated this year,no no..just plans and to be in the moment between the plans.I do need an organizer gadget thingie as I am tired of writing on my hands and it being smudged forgetting important things : call ibu! pay red bill! tute! to not s0 important : roti! ayam!
am quite excited to go paris,london,rome on the 17th.proposed to the mother if I may be her assistant james and she can be my kimora lee until the 17th so that I have extra pocket money for paris..yay! I know how can I be 23 and still ask to be paid for tasks in order to shop?
I strive for a more glamorous lifestyle..till then,there is always my hands to be written upon.
Have a wondeful year people

back home

2008-12-19T23:16:00.005+10:30

I've been home a week now. The scales say that I had already gained 2kg..buuuut it could not be true riiiight? The time difference makes me wake up extra early to harass the boyfriend and so our dates would start early. I have been getting my early dose of street foods such as nasi lemak and bubur nasi at kampung baru, sate kajang, oldtown french toast, ayam penyet etc etc..the first day at home I went to nana's house and ate their lunch of daging kicap and ulams and ayam
There is sooo much to do at home, so many places to go such as the rituals of driving down to penang and melaka and seeing friends who gives out the best hugs woohoo! I do miss the mundane life I lead in Adelaide, I am kinda tired of hiding the smoke smell from the mother but I am not complaining. So here I am back to gaining weight and eating tons street food, its good to be home!! oh did I mention how I adore the fact that everyone spoils me rotten? well for the first week at least and then they tire of me ;p

escape escape!

2008-11-29T01:12:00.003+10:30

Sometimes, there is just one thing you have to do -escape. Except here the birds are so vicious with bad flying skills (so rendah man!) I felt happy at the beach when I threw my arms widely at the back and the waves brush my legs up to my jeans, while I close my eyes and threw my head carefreely against the wind. yup, I can be melodramatic and cheesy like that haha..only this time no one was around to judge and even if there was, I just could not give a damn.

status : rejuvenated :)

Aimless walking.

2008-11-27T17:29:00.003+10:30

Look what I found..how the hell can one take out a book from this pile?

I've been trying to get this particular matter out of my mind. I went out alone again today, and had mocha with my camera. However, alone time was not for long as I bumped into friends who dragged me to the Botanical Gardens, where it rained and so I had to say goodbye as I really was looking forward for some aimless walking. Then it hit me. The matter.

I'm thinking things would come to you, when they do come to you..until then, a little aimless walking would not hurt now would it?

Oh twat!

2008-11-25T21:35:00.006+10:30

Currently waiting for the momentum built-up. For the holiday plans, that is.

Since my last paper which was 5 days ago, I have :

attempt to finish crime and punishment (book underneath bed,sofa,table..and sometimes in hand)

watched drillbit, trainspotting, garden state (again)

shop. buying loads of vintage looking tops,shirts+skirts,and a lousy shoe.

went to sindhu's vegetarian lunch.

apply for a supp exam after thinking yup might fail that paper.

smoke countless of fags (boohoo its the holidaaayyyss)

NOT done the weed (pat,pat..8months now)

trips to chinatown for lunches with friends.leads to..

lunch was stolen in the form of salt and pepper squid by an aboriginal couple.I mean okay they are hungry but I don't see beggers in Malaysia doing thaaaat. Plus, josh and I gave them fags already.gaah!

anyway I have alot planned out. Most looking forward to the Paris and Rome trip with my mader.I want to take up drum lessons and get an international driving licence,oh sod it I will just stick to trying to finish that book first.will update blog for improvements or any further squid stealing activity that occurs. Might also update if it is not squid.

oh Internasional!

2008-11-24T22:14:00.005+10:30

I'm thinking that if I were to psyche myself into thinking that Adelaide is that place in my head,then I would discover more and more of what this place has to offer. Truth is, it scares me to realize that Adelaide is one place I grew to love. It took time as at first all it seems to offer in terms of entertainment is clubbing. Clubbing can be a bitch for me as I do not enjoy clubs. Now, there are many other entertainments that I discovered and likewise friends who share the lack of love for clubbing and I am beginning to really like this place. sepak diri sendiri,i know.

I am fortunate for having a diverse set of friends with strong personalities, I do believe that you are bits and pieces of all the personalities you have ever encountered in your life. I do think that if you were to step out of mixing with just your race you would actually find out that the other friends from the other races, have a lot to offer as well. After all, we are all the same. The one thing we have in common, in my humble opinion, is that each and evey one of us are meant for bigger things.

okay doing the laundry now.its been 4 days since the holidays, and sindhu had fed us vegetarian lunch,which was delish but I still love my chicken :) till next time biznitches.

much needed solitude

2008-11-22T20:11:00.004+10:30

The exams had just finished, leaving me aimless withot going to cats and going through my mundane routine. loser kan,I know!

The night of my last paper was spent at home, me watching Inaaz and she watching some 5 jingga teledrama series. I read half a chapter of crime and punishment, but as I figured reading any given material gives me headache.

The next day, I decided fak I need a date with myself cause hey I am that loser-ish haha so I went for a walk through the same alleys I have walked past but never had gotten the chance to stop and take a picture. I dressed up (a bit la,well for me anyway) but it freakin' rained and I was juggling my wet camera and some groceries, with that stupid long skirt and smudged mascara leaving me to appear blent in with the emo kids at rundle. God forbid.

Anyway, these are some of my favourites of the day. What I like about taking pictures (eventhough it may not be good pictures) is that armed with the camera, you are invisible and you are somewhat allowed to go nearer, approach a subject, stalk a good looking face (ok tak la), wander and walk aimlessly, and to feed your curiousity. Most of all, it allows you to be amused by everything.

In conclusion, it was a good soliditary time spent with le camera that I predict will last only for another month due to the scratches and water. Till next time x

Hippies are jobless but that is still rad

2008-11-10T16:39:00.005+10:30

Biochemistry is one paper I vow never to take again. It is the complexity of every meticulous process in our body that you must know every enzyme, coactivator whatchama-ugh to be able to answer the questions. I was left envious after looking right and left at the people beside me at the exam hall, who are able to muster pages full of explanation and complex diagrams. Myself? I drew whatever that I could and in a desperate attempt to gain pityful marks, drew what I think is the structure of allopurinol (I thought it looks like a crytal ball) and labelling it, well..allopurinol ---->. Was feeling shitty after that paper and so I did some retail therapy at..a mobile shop. Yes, ladies and gents..I bought eggs, bread and honey, marlboro lights and vegetable oil to make myself feel better. Retail therapy melayu style.

To entertain you my little kucing kuraps, I have posted a photo of the recent Adelaide city (uuuu..) That is the carpark that has so many neons in an attempt to make Adelaide appear like new york citayyy.woohoo!

The peace concert yesterday was awesome, although it could be confused with the gathering of hippies alike. Hippies galore hippies galore! They were dancing and prancing and singing..you know being hippies (jobless). I love it. I would have been a cool person in the 60's..i mean,groovy. Instead I am back at uni being a total uncool,nerdy but not smart mismatched attire girl in the millenium era. Till then, blessed be.

A web of wire..or so it seems

2008-11-04T17:15:00.000+10:30

Currently at CATS Uni Adelaide. This place is ironic in a way that it smells of take out food and chinese take-outs, the printer is always buzzing and dies on you when you really need that exam paper but not when you are printing out a song chord or a random joke,kids here are either in high heels all dolled up ready to partayy or in slept-in jumpers that wrecks of showerless bodies and stinky hair, and that at times its really quiet and from room to room everyone is focused and at other times, the are so many noises of different languages..
However, the past few weeks I have been here to study/youtube with them.Its not that bad actually, ciggie breaks are never alone and the vending machine occupies me with the crappy choice of crappy food..just how it is meant to be.
My first paper is this saturday..panic under control,so far. The weekend has been keraayzee and that made me to actually, want to get some work done.

of daffodils.

2008-10-21T21:28:00.007+10:30

When I was younger, we lived in England for a while. We used to stay in this small apartment that was near a beautiful field. Come spring, the field will be filled full full full with daffodils. Since then, I loved daffodils so much.That is one of my favourite childhood memory.

So the last few days had been eventful. One of it was the barefoot sunday, celebrating my 23rd with inaaz and our guests were all barefooted =) we played games macam pukul berapa dato' harimau, ibu ayam, baling selipar..haha tak macam 23 man. I had so much fun, it was a nice break from uni. damn i can kira how many times I attend lectures this sem, and only now am I at uni at night and spending all my coins buying junks at the vending machine..the food wrapper buat sedap hati la that I have been doing my work.

There is so much to write about although my mental state at present does not allow me to express myself in clear way. I have a biochem test this week aaa panic aaaa panic

kick it kick it,sunshines.

The happy kid comes home for awhile

2008-10-08T17:30:00.006+10:30

The break I had was so much fun, even if it was only for 13 days. I went back for raya on the 23rd so I did get a chance to puasa at home with the family. My mum's cooking is bliss,super sedap. Anyway its been 2 years since I last had Ramadhan at home and I love it. The whole cari makan kat pasar ramadhan, rows and rows of stalls to feast your senses. Then the demanding for a certain lauk from le mother. The terawih in which mum and I only perform the 8 rakaat and she insists on driving eventhough the surau is just a downhill journey from our house pasal too full from buka to jalan.

So this year my Ramadhan was half in Adelaide the other half back home. Not to mention that I skipped my puasa on my birthday as eton the persuader said lets smoke on your birthday and have tgif. oh why not. bummer I'm 23 and acting sooo childish.

Had some time to catch up with good friends and of course that handsome dude, it was just plain fun..small party in the fields, smokes, kampung baru..the whole mundane stuff I like to do when I get home.It was so much fun dating and eating and oh you know normal plain fun stuff.

After raya which was in Kedah (super panas!), I had to pack up and leave for Singapura. Spent 10 hours there, visiting Little India, Arab St, zamzam murtabak and bugis village with hemi azram. It was so hectic, but fun fun fun!

my itinery was kl-singapore-darwin-adelaide.I dont recommend transits like that unless you are really broke. So now I'm at uni trying to study with a deaf right ear.aggghh tak best being pekak,I hope my ears could function after this.Thats about it =)

A stable unstability.

2008-09-16T03:13:00.002+09:30

You are the last to come to lab but you are the first to leave. You do not know about a certain test until the very last minute. You spend most of your pay money on ciggarettes.You can still answer questions during discussion and so you think hey I'm not that bad why don't I put in some more effort,but you don't anyway.You get annoyed by slow people and their slow response. You miss the weed. You are breaking free but you are still in the same shit ass cycle as last year.You are having so much fun, by not partying but by being in your own little world.You hang out with different groups of friends everyday, just because the differences in personality amazes you. You laugh so hard because you really want to, not because of the lameness of hiding something yada yada therapy talk crap. You ask, why am I so fine when on paper things are not so well. You start to think why of course, there is a greater power who deals with this and it is not up to me to control it.You make new plans. You do not judge nor do you care anymore about being judge. You can't be bothered anymore with the drama that surrounds you. You smile so often even when alone. The biggest of them all? You are unnerved by nothing and amused by everything.

You are hopeful.A stable unstability indeed =)

Less talk, more action.

2008-08-28T10:52:00.002+09:30

Th dikir barat has been more of a little obsession for me. Trying to watch as many dikir barat videos or performance, singing the ewa bule back and fro to uni, googling dikir barat and its whole meaning in the context, and practicing at home. Imagine my joy when I got the call from the event coordinator saying that we could join their practice. It was a good whole week of intense practice. No matter how tired I was from labs, uni, gossips, I would looking forwardly go for the practice. Now that it is all well and done, new friendship has been made, the routine stuck in my head, I realized that it was my little escape for awhile. You see, when you are doing something because you are really into it, all your problems and inner thoughts just dissapear for awhile. In my case, I get to not think of any intense thoughts I've been having for every clap and routine that I am doing. The stress, just drowns in the voice of the awok-awok.The dikir barat, which was a way of celebrating the rice harvest season, is one tradition that I am proud to have rooted in our culture.The beauty of the synchronised claps and beat, the description of something so simple like the wau bulan, continues to amaze me.

I really need to escape in these kind of things. Now, I am too busy even to walk the streets taking amateur photo's.Its the little things you do for yourself that makes you feel a little bit of joy,in my humble opinion.

wau bulan ambo,sungguh tinggi dia terbang.dia terbang,sampai ke bulan =)

off-duty waitress

2008-08-13T19:11:00.002+09:30

Fired from my waitressing job..fak fak fak. I'm glad I got a new waitressing job,and the pay is so much better as well. No, I'm not using an euphimism here.The reason I can't come for work was because of a doa selamat anyway, u devil haha.

I met Moody Orchid today, and she seems so much happier with the development in her love life department. Odd Fellow seems happier nowadays as well, I went to his new house the other day and noticed how much giggly he is. Giggly as in giddy laughter, he has not turned gay. yet.

I am not as close as I was before to Mundane Guy, he annoys me. I know I sound so heartless, but truth is I can't stand emotional people at the moment. I am trying my very best to keep my emotions together, and so I do not need the constant emotional outpours. I do believe that sometimes you can't always conform, you do have to say no and as bad as it may seem, to be a little selfish. To take care of yourself first. All this is easier said than done, especially if you are someone who can't say no to people. As for me, I am slowly learning.

The need to nickname them arised due to this book me and aimless era plan to write. As usual, our passion for something,a plan, an idea often dies down as fast as it was burning. what's new hey. Aimless era nicknamed me Tranquil Lotus. I know I am far from being tranquil right now, but tranquility is just what I need at the moment.

p/s: must not eat at my old restaurant..boohooo =)

catch up ketchup

2008-07-28T17:24:00.002+09:30

This is my first day of sem2 man,bangun lambat pula itu haha..so i havnt been updating this thing as i found this cute indian journal at the markets recently.Anyway. i moved out of rosepark (woohoo!). Im staying at an apartment, a lovely one i might add and during the holidays i have been a total bum by being at home with housemate lulu, and friends coming over everyday to cook. i love how it is really central and i could just walk to uni..ngeee couldnt stop smiling eversince. I got a job as a waitress lagi..i know. the pay is really minimal (it sucks) however i think any pay is good.I'm having every penny from the pay to go sydney..yay!
All in all its been good..not party good,mundane kinda good and yes, slowly I think I'm healing.I think I'm just doiong anything that I want to be able to sort of move.
I've been reading several good books recently, daughter of the east was a good read. It was about Benazir Bhutto. I admire the way she handles all the detentions, jails, exile moments and most of all,the execution of her father on where his last words to her was "until we meet again". The opening line stuck to me long after the book has been read; I didn't choose this life, it choose me.
Alritey i need to walk home now,take care little herpes..oh i balik rayaaa =)

Ayah

2008-05-24T19:11:00.004+09:30

Ayah passed away more than a month ago.I was thinking about him the whole one week leading to his passing,I recited his jokes,I laughed out loud all of a sudden when I remembered something he said,and so forth. I texted him the day before too.I was at uni when I got the news.When Zaie called to say "get the first flight home,ayah meninggal" I could hear the tears in his voice and I consoled him however I could.Then when Ibu called from Paris, I was still consoling her. I saw Hari walked up to me followed by Fatin, and still I was standing calm. However, after the flight tickets have been bought and all my amazing friends and I were left to do was to wait for the time to go to the airport, I felt a sudden crush upon my chest and cried for half an hour.The thought that we will never be able to see each other daunted upon me like a ton of bricks.Looking back, it could have been heavier.
The flight home was not as bad as I imagined it,. With so many transits, I am amazed that I did not fainted.Although, I almost did.On the flight back, images of ayah was going back and forth like a movie I dare not pause. Until, I finally fell asleep. Arriving home, Hemi picked me up from the airport.At home, I rushed to see my brother.This is so surreal, I thought.
Many people were at home and my thoughts were louder than their voices. The house without ayah seems too hard to imagine.The couch where he lounges on lazy afternoons,his cars, his clothes.Ayah had many many friends and there were so many people at the house, which was a consoling factor.
I cried again that night during the tahlil, this time surrounded by my friends back home.The morning after that was the worst for me, waking up not to the sound of ayah going to the surau or his voice joking with someone.I smelt the fabric on his hanged up baju melayu and look around his room of old photos and books.

Ayah is one character you will never forget. Our family and his old friends commented to me on how everyone he comes upon, will have something to remember him off.Ayah makes friends with everyone he meets.Even the newspaper guy, the shopkeeper, the school bus driver. I laughed now when I remember waking up to see a school bus in front of my house only to realize my father invited the driver for morning coffee.His old friends from all over the wold even flew off to visit us as they do not want to lose the connection with him.It is amazing how he can struck up a conversation with anyone and joke casually with them.He was a funny funny guy, my father. His jokes, till this day makes me laugh so hard.He was the kind of father that bought me anything that I ever wanted,and upon me asking why he gave me those stuff he would reply "because you are my daughter".To my brother, it was a different case. Haha. Zaie was expected very much to be a man. Which I could say, he became the man of the house very much the day Ayah left.

It consoles me when his friends came to share stories, most of it ends with us laughing at Ayah's jokes.We are stronger as a family now, thinking that we should not mourn his death but celebrate his life and the meaningful attributes that he left with us.The strength that we as a family have to move on this fast could only be from Allah.To me,Ayah is not dead, he is very much alive in the doa that we give him, the smiles that we draw, and his characters that is very much in me as I am indeed, ayah's daughter.Some things never change, some things never will.
Al-Fatihah.

could be anything

2008-04-23T23:35:00.007+09:30

sindhu,hari and me a year ago and this year..yeah losers hang out with each other haha
okay woooiii so james is a total stalker and he is super clingy and like he would hang out at our lodge for days,not going back..sleeping on the sofa and smoking at the fire exit..really annoying,and so one day our manager got really pissed and thank god he didnt see his bong on the floor, they had a verbal and he was banned from coming here again..so long,right?no.he still calls and pisses the hell out of me.fuck off la kan.

so thats one thing.i've been having my school break for a week now and i have like a week to go.the things that we do are totally unplanned and the spontaneity does affect my tummy/sleep pattern/money etc but other than that,its been hell of a good time.mostly spent outside the confinement of my room at rosepark,which i now regard as a box with a window.but the other nite sindhu got really drunk and proposed to another indian guy saying "i can cook and clean toilet also and wear miniskirt miniskirt everyday" he was scared.then ken kept shouting "sindhu,dont walk in front of the ambulance" when we walked back and i was at the back sober as usual and just thinking what a weird and funny situation i am in.one that i will remember in 10years or so i hope.

here is where it gets touchy.a lot of stuff has been going around,and things arent that great,uh even had a breakdown at the library just thinking about stuff after one too many times stuffing it all at the back of my mind..cried and sniffled and felt better afterwards,dahla cry with a stupid hair roller in my hair..must have looked like a dumb asian.anywaaayyy..hari was like dude! dont do that here..i dont know what to do to make things right for you lets go out yada yada.

although i dont think i could ever say it to them but i do feel greatful for having met them as they do give me a break from the all too familiar and all too comfy,comfy zone.

okay maybe will write later as im at uni now should be studying like a good indian girl.haha

so here's the thing..

2008-03-27T01:19:00.003+10:30

hey hey bloggy. dont the days past by so fast? I feel like it does. first off *happy birthday to ili,nanen, and dee* I hope they have a good one..and to tell them that if it was up to me I would give anything to be back home and celebrate it with them. anyway that day we went to a black and white party and later we became friends with this guy named james.He now can say hello babi and camni ar member. so now the basic malay dah settle because quite frankly,there is no great punchline greater than jokes told in your own bahasa hey?

pastu cuaca sekarang gile pagi panas malam sejuk.I had ablast at nadia's party where the theme is the 60's so hippie lovin was in the air and my system is fully stocked up with mary janes to continue on.

These past few days had been fun but I am often left wondering is there more and bigger things beyond what I can comprehend and do and capable of mustering? we'll see..as the hippies say,good vibes good vibes maaaan :)

even coffee couldn't wake us up

2008-03-12T13:08:00.002+10:30

hello my little crabs. or whoever reading. (you might be a cat).
I have been busy,the both type of busy : productively busy and unproductively busy.
Well an ex close friend killed and ate mr.man, my rabbit..sadist loser,he is. His excuses were condensed version of the truth and it makes me want to puke at the thought of what he had done.Now,when people here asked me to see mr.man the now dead rabbit, i just do not know what to say and eventually they know themselves of what had happened.The most selfish thing anyone had ever done to me,and its done.heh. the thought that you would still want to be friends? pegi mampus.

anyway moving moving moving on..classes are okay,i haven't missed any :) yet. It feels good to be back in uni. The weather panas gile like 40 degrees out there. I have discovered a new shop around the corner,its a charity shop and it sells good stuff if you can find the time to rummage through.Been meeting up with friends here,except nigel..he is busy panjat pagar all over radelaide to get in free.let him be,we thought.so thats all the updates so far,oh oh and rosepark drama? i can handle now haha lawak la this place does do things to you.
I miss the boyfriend at times, and others back home too but this time I no longer cry and cry, I do retail therapy shits and now takde duit again and back to sending out resumes.
So all n all it has been good..plus the updates I get about the elections makes me feel at home. Malaysia,indeed is changing..and right now,I think change is good.

m&ms for breakfast

2008-02-22T12:50:00.004+10:30

picture perfect moments arent usually captured by the camera,are they?

I've been keeping myself busy these past few days.Lack of productivity kills me,although there are days that I wish to just lounge in my room. and I do just that.
So it has been 4days here. I am not feeling the homesick vibe,and I intend to keep it that way.come on I'm a third year student now I should get used to it although friends have been noted saying it gets worse as you are to graduate.We'll see,hey?
so the first day itself was alright despite my flight tunggang terbalik,bad weather. The situation made everyone look at each other macam dalam movies tu.Since I never sleep on flights,I was okay..tak terkejut and all.oh and I remember just a slight feeling of "here we go,this time lets make it better"when the pilot touchdown.Fatin and I breeze thru quarantine and took separate cabs to our different "home". The inverted coma being that home in this context is not the home without.Yes I can be anal with words that carries big meanings.I dont usually write like today i went to and i bought what and all but i do want to remember these days so here goes

1st day.
Nadia greeted me in her baju kaftan gelak gelak.I know rite.Im the one who should be laughing.Reason being,I famously declared that I would not stay at a hostel such as Rosepark, but since rumah saya terbakar saya tiada pilihan lain la kan.Now I have to eat my words.So I was shown to my room,and I liked it.I unpacked immediately with Nadia and went out to buy small groceries dekat kedai minyak because it was too damn hot to get on the bus to the city!
gile babi panas ok macam ayam panggang rasa.For dinner,they all ajak me to makan pancakes.I talked to the boyfriend,he was groggy tho..comel.Time diff is 2hrs30mins.

2nd day
I went to the city,I was bored rearranging stuff and going thru my barang2 terbakar. I bought some stuff.I would always buy candles upon reaching Adelaide,but not knowing that I cant light my candles in my room..aggghh damn you hostel.I bought quiltcovers and mostly room stuff.Retail therapy whatever shit you call it does work :) That night some friends ajak go dinner at Cafe Micheal and Hamdi being himself,ask 100 soalan to the waiter regarding the fish.The fish this,that,coconut milk this that..Adelaide,did not change since the last time.

3rd day
Woke up at 10.Bear in mind my appointment with my student advisor was at 10.bangun pun like fuchsiaaa!! Im late and mandi (of course) and lari macam anak badak naik bas. The appointment went well,I do have to extend in order to cukupkan kredit blabla so I must get a stable job.sigh sigh and went around uni, I missed it. The green lawns,the old buildings,the airy smell.Then I candidly walked into a shop and bought a dress,to go to a raggae place tonite.Went to the market beli ayam daging all that,and I needed moisturiser rite,so I masuk the pharmacy and bumped into Lisa,an aussie friend who works there.I feel at ease here by then.Fatin took me to see my burnt house,its not that bad,but the inside looks horrifying to my curious eyes.That nite I ended up not wearing the dress,we went to A taste of jamaica,I gave a sampoerna to an abo guy..he was so happy.and drunk.haha. Later,we went to PJ O Brien,which sucks and then we headed to the Garden of Unearthly Pleasures.Cute isnt it? Its there for the Adelaide Fringe Festival.The park is so beautifully decorated with colourful neon lights drapped on trees and a wooden dancefloor under the sky with a really coll dj her name is kid kat and dancing without shoes people and ferris wheels and food...ahh my kinda place. Gave another samp to an old guy who dances like there is no tomorrow with us.So cute! He was happy too.and drunk.geez there are THAT in love with beer here.Then we met these three friends doing weed,and asked for a lighter.So they were happy we waited for them,and then we talked and laughed and i dont know it was just a nice feeling to just be able to connect to strangers.maybe they were already high thats why,i dont know..they offered us some but we had to go back so I offered a samp.habis stok aku.and they were like "this is good shiiiiiit". everything pun good to u la kan..u are high.
Kicked of my heels,mandi and tidur.woke at 1030am.Now I'm restless.

Its not too bad rite..It will get better.and and and if the boyfriend comes in July? Bliss!
I miss you guys already,but the candid photos that I tampal in my room reminds me that distance,is a state of mind.

unpack. check.

2008-02-20T03:00:00.004+10:30

the roadtrip to penang

its 3.10 adelaide time,and im in my hostel room after a whole day of unpacking and makan and getting to know people and dahla panas. jalan pegi buy like bread etc rasa macam boleh pengsan tepi jalan.i didnt cry at the airport :) i will write later. shaky flight and unrested day leads my brain to think incoherently..it was just hours ago i was with those who matters most. another year,here we go.

the threads zooo yo!

2008-02-05T01:49:00.000+10:30

I had so much fun berjual dan membeli at the threads zoo,hartamas.It works like this,you pay rm100 for a day,and dee even kejut me to bangun berniaga.pastu u get ur own rack and u can decorate it as u please.the people there are so much fun man,bila takde customers we all end up try try baju each other and buy from each other.think i spent more than what i sold haha but in the end laku la and untung :) bolehla saya beli lebih barang untuk ke adelaide.i made so many new friends and ooh get to keep the vinyl cd with the contengan zookeeper hola! i love the bunch and the two days i spent with them was superriffic.bes gileee.the nite that i had to go to this charity thingie,they all gathered and did my hair and makeup..as if we had known each other since 10 years la kan.saya rasa special.weeee~

I guess its rewarding to respond to an invite or an email..you never know what pleasant situation you could be in..am now at etons.shiiiit countdowncheck is 14days.ibu saya tanak balik uni,saya nak duduk rumah (duduk rumah=enjoy) sigh sigh sigh i'm having sooo much fun at home i dont want to go back just yet.rasa macam nak enrol kolej ptpl belakang giant and dudk rumah sahaja.hoh.

stinky socks my schmocks

2008-01-29T19:57:00.000+10:30

Unproductive day..dahla ada pimple menonjol kat dahi saya. it is now 5.30 and I just spent an hour or so depan tv tgk house with a tub of sara lee ice cream and my dad snoring on the other sofa.
Eton and I had this talk once, and we both agreed that marriage can be a form of freedom.You are no longer under the care of your parents,and therefore you are to care for your own family.All actions done are of your responsibilty,and you have no one except your other half to object to your whereabouts.You are worthy of being called a free woman,as much as the other singletons.Most obvious,you are free to decide on what is good for you and your family.
Oh well its not like we were to get hitched anytime soon..but it is nice to know that when we do,it is not as if our so-called freedom is gone.kan kami dah buat pelbagai plan untuk cover each other ;p

off to do my laundry,the socks are sending of odours offensive even to rats.oh tonite is our last sleepover at alyaa's must bring food

Snap snap fingers

2008-01-28T21:36:00.000+10:30

I have always loved the UK.I spent some years as a child there, and I have always wanted to pursue my studies in the UK.Sebab screw up a-levels,I applied and got Adelaide instead.I am grateful,many others in this world could not even go to school yada yada,yes, but I could not help but feel a pang of envy whenever a friend would tell me about going to salisbury,walking along the gloomy streets,the traditional lectures in the classy city.To me,studying in the UK is the ultimate education experience.The UK education experience is in a class of its own. Someday,who knows.

Sometimes I feel like I lead a double life.On good days,I enjoy it.

I suddenly miss those french classes that I used to take last sem haha where I was the only confused science student in the tute,sitting there with a facial expression of an eager ikan.
Je pretend que tu fait bien..really.

squint eyes squint

2008-01-28T05:13:00.000+10:30

memang tak beli la kan,the skinny bitch tshirt..

I sleptover at Alyaa's for a couple of nights..the sleepover was with friends who knew me since I was in darjah 3/darjah 5.

Made me reminisce those school days.Look at you now.

haha those days when we had no secrets from parents and no goals to cloud our day.

Back from what seems like the past,besok I have to settle some really important errands.

Oh now i know that i am mildly allergic to cats as i had to go to the clinic for sesak nafas..agghh secrets nearly revealed there at the clinic.must stop soon.

I want to visit Nad in penang soon,figure the bus ride and the change of place would do me good.

bye ayek!

2008-01-28T04:39:00.000+10:30

Ini fafa dan ayek..ayek hendak ke new zealand.

ini fafa.

I knew fafa and ayek di intec (traaaagic kingdom) and we share so many funny pre-mature moments together.Saya rindu drama melayu mereka yang sering mereka lakonkan petang petang :(

After A-levels, fafa studied medicine in jakarta and i went to visit her with nanen,that was whoaaah 3years ago. I hope hope hope I could go visit ayek in otago this year, or hope she would come visit me in radelaide (yang bosan itu).

Study well,ayek and janganla diet diet diet :)

rahsia and another sleepover

2008-01-23T15:13:00.000+10:30

I'm back from sleeping at eton/hana's house.she hates it when we call her eton in public,so yeah HANA.happy hana?where was i oh i sleptover and we talked our hearts content out till the wee hours of the morning.One night,we were super bored and being broke prevented us from wandering the streets of kl.We drove out of the apartment denagn memakai baju tidur (seluar saya ialah seluar lama eton yang ada tweety)and we didnt bring any money except coins from the car,we headed to zehan's and beli burger dadah in subang using the coins in the car.Ahhh as if we were still 15.I have learnt something, good friends would always always always support your back.They would not go astray when you make a mistake,nor would they stop advising you until you have learnt from your mistake.
Eton and i go waaaay back,there are so many occasions that we had covered for each other.I doubt we could change that even if we were married one day.Haha i picture us still covering for each other form our husbands to have a fag or jual emas mak mertua or whateverla.

Yesterday was hemi azram's birthday, and I took him to Rahsia Bistro for dinner :)
The place is so good..check it out they are on facebook (stalker material tak!)He is now 23 and im proud of him.
He was happy with his gift and the suprise dinner..as for the years back,i could not tahan with suprises and would blurt out my plans for him one week prior to his bday and kecewa gileee when he isnt surprised on his bday.So yay for me this time.

25 days to go before my flight back to school..boohoo.

homeless butt no more!

2008-01-23T05:13:00.000+10:30

weee i got an email saying that i can secure a room at rosepark,a student hostel.aggh i takdela suka live in a student hostel but it is the only one available so far.tak suka as in its community/clingy relationship style is too intense for my liking but hey could be better here.all i have to do now is to bank in the deposit moneyyyhh..bapakla mahal i feel so bad (screw up a-levels dan tak dapat scholarship haha).
I am one who loves packing and organizing stuff,so now in my buku hitam i have list down the things that i want to buy for adelaide this time.dah tak homeless woot woot:D

Current state of the homeless butt

2008-01-17T15:12:00.000+10:30

Every morning (or noon) I would wake up to hold the laptop and check my mails for replies from real estate agents that would decide the whereabouts for my homeless butt (in adelaide).Whereabouts currently zero..bah! either it is too pricey (above $160 per week) or too small or too far.After checking my mails,I would later proceed to cari a house at realestate and pester them some more i.e wow its very pretty,i want! only to be replied with please attend open inspection for property number 43256778-ko-takkan-dapat. KENAPALAH RUMAH KENA TERBAKAR??? Oh God why now.I am a third year student back to living like my first sem of my first year,on the sofa of friends.even worse this time when I get back as nadia doesnt have a sofa and nigel is kicked out and sindhu mak dia garang,tanak.Ohhh I need comfort food! diet will resume after getting a house for my homeless and now fat,butt.

on a softer note

2008-01-13T05:51:00.000+10:30

I used to think that I am the last girl on earth kot yang a guy would want as a girlfriend.I still do.Eversince I got to be his girlfriend,one too many times I would be demanding attention,throw tantrums,cry 1(betul-betul like horror), cry 2 (tak betul but practice bunyi nangis to get what I want)<--only berkesan dalam fon.
He asked me to be his girlfriend in April 2005 so this year makes us 4 years together.To be honest,the number does not daunt upon me like a malacious trap. It only occurs upon being asked.We spend most of the months in one year being apart and try to makeout i mean makeup for the lack of companionship in 3 out of 12 months. I have no qualms about it albeit the fact that I would want to have more time together.It is not always easy,but it got a little getting used too.
I guess I've learnt that distance is a state of mind, and love,is always always always through actions and thoughts and not through words and numerous hugging kissing pda pics and dramatic declarations. It may work for others,so go ahead.I have also learned that being together just simply means sharing.In the real context of the word.As for the present,I am one happy girl,and I am very grateful.For the future is what we do not know off and is filled with wishful thinking.God willing.

some vintage booger

2008-01-10T04:08:00.000+10:30

Today was a fun one.We went to this kedai in bb,a really small one which is walking distance from sg.wang.There they sell cam vintage tops,one of a piece design shirts,and mainly band shirts.It has been my fav place to purchase cheap rare goods la since i balik this time. Anyway it was Pae's bday,so hid,eton and i got him 2 shirts.He was happy and sengih2 sampai rumah,proclaiming he has never gotten a bday gift eversince a kereta control masa kecik.(Pae is my friend since form 3,dia sakit telinga sebelah because one, he is a drummer and two, doktor cakap there is something wrong with the middle of his telinga)ok so then we makan nasi ayam and headed home.
I love love love a day that is carefree and candid,and all you want to do is just laugh..and you are not even high.oh hemi azram was really sweet,buying me this vintage bracelet from the kedai wrapped in some old paper tulis "kool kool kool..i love you" pastu nyorok it in my bag.buat buatla suprised masa jumpa tu kan :)

Happy Birthday Pae..may u one day dah tak sakit telinga xx

note to self,must diet nasi from besok as there seem to be a slight (0.5kg) decrease in weight since eating rice.good news eventho 0.5 kg

neon neon

2008-01-08T04:32:00.000+10:30

Its been seven days into 2008,and I am having fun.Fun,being pretty mundane for some as I don't party in the conventional sense.Oh well.I've been shopping non-stop eversince the hongkong trip,and I am ever increasing the dream items in my list such as that miu miu bag i saw in hkg..mahal gile la kan,like 6k..ketuk kepala*

nways,the jokes are more spontaneous,the events are more candid and the ties are stronger than ever. so I am loving 2008,as long as I dont remind myself that when i get my ass back in adelaide,i am homeless once more.

I love that ive been able to do my happy stuff i.e fleee markets,dating with le boyfriend,random drives,eating,lying on empty streets,and having a good old laugh oh oh and ideas to form an imaginery band with eton and ili called losers no more/sexynerds..we cant decide which one is loserer ;p p.s nad aku tak tau la sape yang comment tu..stalker ko tu kot? xxx

my married dada

2008-01-02T05:18:00.001+10:30

the girl who punched lutfi for kicking us after we ejek him burger (his dad's name is ramli)

the girl who was kicked by lutfi after i conteng his muka with a permanent marker (lasted 3 days dgn tanda X kat pipi)

the girl who i stood next with in front of the class kena marah dengan cikgu aziz who later said kamu tersengih sengih macam kerang basi <--- perlu ke cikgu?

the girl who created dno siang, and the only one to call me ola

the girl who will always be dada to me,single or married.I wish for her happiness in marriage,and hereafter. Oh and the money to melawat her in UK yang mahal nak mampus.

Love u,da xx ola

here comes the sun

2008-01-02T04:13:00.000+10:30

hey hey its 2008!

I would love to reflect upon 2007,but im so excited by how 2008 has turned out so far.happy and having fun like this :))))))
ok so petang 31st tu eton hemi and i checked in lansons place and beli kfc and stuff.i sempat ran to petaling street to meet up with john who dragged his aussie ass here,with rahmah!ngee.ran back to lansons dgn kfc.malam tu we played host and had fun just playing games and taliking and watching fireworks,actually just happy to be in 2008,traffic jamless and spacious.
i cant remember at what point did i slept but i awoke at 8.30 mandi like 3 minit (hello 2008) pakai baju kurung senget senget and all and dash to shah alam,pegi dada's akad nikah.i teman her get ready and she is very much the same old clumsy dada (she broke the zip of her akad dress) spoilt dada (insists nak her milo time pakai make up) the part i remembered most was when her dad betulkan the zip yang dia rosakkan and time her mum read her a doa while putting her bedak on.
and then she was married :) that nite we attended her reception at hilton,and she as usual looked gorgeous.headed off fof kerang bakar artefwards,makan banayk gile now dah pening.

so that was my first day in 2008. its looking good so far for many that I know,I hope it goes the same for you.
new years resolution? in the making. too pening from damn gemuk kerang bakar.
xxx

hey jude

2007-12-25T19:15:00.000+10:30

i havent packed anything for my trip to hongkong with the parentals and zaie tomorrow. my family is a mix of characters.my dad's idea of a trip, is the amazing race.he would race around with the trolleys to wait for our bags at the conveyer belt right in front so that "no one is in front,we get the bags dulu" his rivals? makciks who walk sloooow.one time, an old lady was extra pok pek in the plane and so he asked the pramugari to "letakla ubat batuk dalam air dia,dia menganggu ketenteraman awam" Oh God. No wonder i am not looking forward to packing, as usually I love the act of packing.

oh must locate passport.ugh wonder where passport is.then again could say misplaced passport and sadly could not join the competitive father.instead will stay home with nad and fag sampai pengsan.oh tres bien! must not. xxxx

another one of those

2007-12-25T19:00:00.000+10:30

okay so konon2 today is Monday dec 24

i went out with hemi azram,hehe..so i can be overdramatic at times (like semalam). anyway we searched for magazines that is like rm10 for free bikinis/diary (me,not him) and free playstation cds (him), went to lowyat (i know..boriiing)he wanted some ape ntah (a computer geek im stuck with.why why why!) and then balik tu i met up with nad for oh the usual,she pakai baju kelawar and refused to jumpa ama's new (the 5th!) boyfriend when they dropped by at our secret place. she refused to dtg at the carpark, "sebab pakai baju kelawar" but then kept screaming back and forth nak cakap dgn the guy. then when he wanted to comeover where she is, she made a fuss again "pakai baju kelawar"

when they balik,she pusing towards me and said "boyfriend baru ama tu sombong kan?"
ugggh i dare not jawab for fear she is unstable mentally hahah! xxx

all you need is..

2007-12-25T18:25:00.001+10:30

a lot more than u think!

so konon konon today is Sunday/Monday dec 24.I am merajuking with hemi azram.
I talked on the phone with him,sulking and merungut rungut about stuff till he as usual,in true manner of a boy from a boy's school backgorund,not wanting to talk much and just said bye to hang up so i could "cool down" agggh for 4 years now he has not get it that i dont want to cool down,ugh i cant actually. i would hyperventilate and lagi marah. right will not talk to him for 10 days i thought.
oh but then cannotla i miss him.
so then i dah tak merajuk when he called and was ok.
so now, he would buy me a chanel of my choice (oh tres chic!) (bila dah besar. to be put in my hutang list)

and i have decided (ini serious dan final) will not send my future son to boy's school,seriously now. xxx

dance before me

2007-12-25T18:14:00.001+10:30

so konon konon today is Sunday dec 23

ok this is embarassing even to myself. i stayed home the whole day,reading a book.
just got to know from yday at Topshop midvall, when i met up with my old friend's kakak,Mas, that said friend is getting married and im the first to know!!!!
called dada up and shouted "kawiiiiiiiiiiiiinn???". am happy for her but am also trying to be sympathetic as she whines about kursus for 2 days and ujian HIV (she passed.)haha. and the kelam kabutness of getting things together the very last minute. She calls me ola. "ola u datang awal,tolong buat i jadi cantik". oh gosh. what am i to do when own self look like karipap at present? oh so very hope she has a makeup artist la kan, the bapuk guys are really good.
So ok. today i only mandi-ed at 11pm tu pun coz i badly needed a fag. feel like bloody 15 year old curi2 in toilet when own friend is getting married. damn will grow up,...soon.

images of broken light

2007-12-25T17:50:00.000+10:30

hello blogblog. im having trouble sleeping at night nowagays,i wonder why. i came up with many ideas while awake in the midst of the sleepy city. i wanted to post my daily mundane doings here,so that once back in old Adelaide i could baca and relive my holiday back home.weeeeeeeee!! cure for homesick found. just have to bring myself to vaio. doubts,as i lack self-discipline but will give it a try.

so konon2 the date today is Saturday dec 22.

oh hello blogblog. Ariff came to pick me up and nak lepak2 shah alam. (in an attempt to embrace true shah alam spirit) so dress down la,selipar lama and all. then because of my refusal to have fags around hometown (parentals!),decided to go Sunway. Picked up nadia whom had just balik from adelaide. fags and goreng pisangs, waited for inaaz coming by train. oh gosh this update thing is tiring! oh we met amy search and took pics and shouted we love u amyyyy!! till somenone reminded us that "dia dah pegi haji" so we stopped. ugh ok.

went to send inaaz home, and that was our "shah alam" day out. right. will venture shah alam even more.

purplebracelet

2007-12-17T04:15:00.000+10:30

I went to watch ili's band-lovesickavenue perform today!! It was something that I have always wanted to do since in Adelaide,man.and it was awesome. bono even dedicated the song purplebracelet to me, and pointed "tu hola!"..agak malu la kan,macam groupie pula saya ini.I do reminisce with such delight on how I went about writing that song,around 3 years ago,never thinking that it would be played or packed in a cd. It was afterall, a conscience of us growing up.
I was proud of them,my friends.what started as an idea was now of something with high substance.
Last friday nite I went to this jazzaurant,the cotton club.Thing was, I didnt want to go at first because most of them there i tak kenal pun..but I went anyway to meet up with fatin.It turned up fun actually,us girls danced silly to material girls.
On certain nites,after going out for days in a row I would just prefer to wear my trusty uni shirt,engross in a book and stay home.
There is a certain calmness about doing nothing at home, though it does rasa bosan nak mampus at times.Being home for 3 months in a year makes me go hyper and would want to venture out and eat stall foods and be with close friends.After all,the 3 months would be over so fast and I would find myself packing again.
I am not complaining..with good company,who could?

The boyfriend is such a sweetheart. I know I can be very annoying and demanding his attention at times,and yet he went ahead and belikan this topshop muffler yang ada hole for ur thumb and sampai lengan and kaler2..so that i can stay warm in adelaide pasal banyak jaket dah terbakar(oh stress aku)..i looove it. He, makes my heart skip a beat.
xxx aarggh saya budak tak boleh tidur.

the house that was

2007-11-30T22:03:00.000+10:30

our house in adelaide terbakar..pasal electrical circuit fuse something something.aggggghhh i loved that house, we all did. it was a crashing place for many homeless butts. now baru terfikir the benda2 yang may be tak dapat diselamatkan..our living room and inaaz's room was gone in the fire.

what i know could not be saved include: 1. a French theatre poster,a vintage Audrey Hepburn poster, and a mayer poster :(
2 my favourite The Shins poster woiiii :( :( :( :(
3. baju2 warna putih,winter jackets :(
4. my journal..i hope it was burnt rather than dibaca oleh adelaide friends
5. goodbye and goodluck cards, postcards sent and pics on the wall :(

what my housemates and I hope was burnt and NOT discovered by bomba/adelaide friends :
1. the stupid dildo..hadiah ok, and never was used,thank u.
2. the two porn dvd..not ours.dahla nama pornworld. damn akan nampak kinky!
3. the kotak we used to simpan happy stuff.

so thats it for now. earthly things could be replaced anyway ooh except poster the shins and cards tu la kan. aggggaaagaaa homeless again man. xxx

Home again!

2007-11-30T20:29:00.000+10:30

I've been home for 17 days now. Jetlag recovered and cravings had been met,several familiar faces,lengthy updates and belanja makans later, I am finding myself far from being settled. There is so much that I want to do here,back home.

Ok, so far I have been to Penang(the day i sampai kl itself) and balik tipu tipu on the 15th,to see the parentals..guilt hits when they go how was the flight tadi yada yada..oh the cuaca teruk ah flight macam shaky whereas i was exhausted from penang ugh haha.

Yes, I had KFC marathon,kerang bakar,nasi briyani, and all those fat storing activities..everyday is fast-paced covering many of my favourites i.e kg baru,pj,shah alam etc

I was overwhelmed by changes that I was going through myself, and changes displayed by my close friends. However, I do believe that we all go through phases and changes and whatnots to emerge as to be more of yourself one day. So in the mean time we will just let it be.

So here I am, at home and finding that things do change and for the things that does not change, maybe it never should. A long post..phew! xxx

here and there

2007-11-04T12:35:00.000+10:30

Biochemistry paper is tomorrow..I hate all-nighters,its exhausting.
I miss unproductive days such that u awake with a clear mind, instead of things you would want to achieve by the end of the day.
Being around new people is a form of escapism..and all I can say is that,space is good.
so I'm off to uni crap crap..past year papers never fails to make me feel ever so dumb.
oooh nigel,hari and I are in loove with sindhu's boobies :)
random post..don't you just hate it when your mind can't even seem to operate in a coherent manner.
hooome in 9 days! xx

and so it is..

2007-10-27T19:46:00.000+09:30

thunderbirds are go is on tv tonite..I just got back from megan's, studying biochemistry.

tau tak the-you are the only one yang tak tau ape2 and that makes you the stupidest girl in your class feeling? hah. macam tu la.

nad called me today. the penang trip is on! upon sampai kl pula itu..exciteeed :)
ooh and that norell, this girl I used to be close to when I was aggh 14? Well, she is geting married..in Penang.So we might hang around for that. kawin man..big deal sungguh..funny how everyone is moving on.

oh and I read while stalking blogs, that my friend has a reoccuring cancer. I'm calling her tonite..

for whatever problems you have, others are facing bigger ones.

I cant wait to be home..I have missed out on a lot. I want to watch my friends grow and change, I regret on that at times, when I'm here.ok gotstogo study and dinner at 9.

countdown

2007-10-24T17:53:00.000+09:30

I had my practical exam today..gileee.4 experiments in an hour and a half,I left out one.weiii benci la!
My theory papers will be on the 5th,7th,9th and then i will fly home on the 13th.yay!
That leaves me with 12 days before the exam, and 20 days before I fly back.
cant wait cant wait..kfc and tosai marathon u guys..heee harus!

The tense days of all-nighters,past year papers,mooody mood swings,annoyiiing geeks,library trips,muka tak mandi,oversize sweaters,v drinks,*candy*breaks,and late night indomee and pancakes has begun!

oh and can you stop overreacting?go get yourself some weed and diam boleh tak.
You are very much still a friend to me, but could you stop with all this unnescessary emo drama..you are a dude,please chill.

Good Thoughts

2007-10-20T19:43:00.000+09:30

So yesterday was a hectic one. I woke at 9 and hurried to uni, spent some time at the library,mostly doodling on the margin paper of my notebook. I had a biochem test at 12,which turned out easy..if only I had revised more. I hurried off to sportsgirl to get a bday gift for lisa and catched a bus back home. Zafir dah tunggu and so we added last minute montages to be presented at the MASCA AGM. Setengah jam into my deadline for this psych report, I was still typing in between doing the montages..aaggh so we catched the bus back to uni, I rushed to haighs choc to buy hampers,had the meeting which turned out to be less than I expected it to be. After,we hurried off to lisa's party..and then hooome. Some came over,new faces.

Annoyiiiiing gileeee. Its one of those days were everyone is annoying and everything is scattered about.
I'm left to unwind back home..and I do still believe that if u create good thoughts in your head, good things will occur. No matter what.

the raya that it was

2007-10-17T18:59:00.000+09:30

weee so raya has ended,classes and normalcy resumes back in its place.
The raya this year was hectic gile..but I had a late start with bangun pagi, tgk facebook,made some more kuih cornflakes to bring to open houses,shower and siap2 around 11.We went to 4 open houses back to back, ending the nite with tolong2 masak for the masca-umno raya. By the time I reached home, I was exhausted and annoyed and cranky..boo

The day before raya, I called the parentals and zaie,..and they were at our kampung, preparing a bbq with the family. I could hear the chaos and the noises that follows and a feeling of lonesome seeps in. However, I do not want to dwell on it that much,haha im such an emo at times.

I have never been one to have a craze over raya,the past few years when I was not abroad, I took raya as a light ceremony that I obligingly go visit relatives yang I tak kenal pun dan bitch2 bosan with zaie,layan budak2,..and off to the home of good friends. Its funny how now when my atok and nenek had passed away, and that I am far from home..the sound of takbir raya hits me so deep.

Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin,you guys.

candid

2007-10-12T22:41:00.000+09:30

A Little Luxury

2007-10-09T11:13:00.000+09:30

So maybe we were a little too dramatic,about sending inaaz back home.

This has been in my mind since yesterday. I came upon a blog (stalker remember!) of this girl, whom I do not know. She is far younger than me, but is studying in the same country as me. Her posts revloves around all the stuff that she purchased, and mind you, they were all chanel,prada,lv,tiffany&co,chanel,chanel chanel lagi..however, these buys are not sporadic,they are every other day!gile tak..like oh after class i went to chanel..yadayadayada. How she would get tense if chanel flats takde her size..yadayadayada. How she hates these biasa brands that the mass has.
Although I do see it as a girl who has the priviledge to enjoy a little luxury,well good for her.. I became thoughtful,thinking of how we were at her age,and by we I meant me and my school friends.
Yes, at her age we were lacking chanel. Maybe now, the only chanel that we have are hand-me-downs from mum even..lagila loser.
How different it was then compared to hers now..I am far from saying that we had a better time.
We worked part-time,we had scrunched up ringgit notes to save for a trip or the amp or all those,we volunteered,we went to gigs..maybe my days were a little lifeless in her eyes
but you know what,I had the best times growing up without the impressions of mega empires.

weirdness

2007-10-09T10:42:00.000+09:30

This is so long ago, but i was tagged by hanie (hi hanie!) to state 8 weird things about myself..uuggh.

1. I must let the tap water run while i am at the toilet, even in public toilets haha

2. Any movies that happens to be the craze at the moment,such as simpsons,transformers,harry potter..I will only watch it like a year afterwards and would refuse to tengok it during the hype season. Haha I'm such a loser.

3. I get friends easily and can bond and laugh with anyone in a quick succession but if I choose to be diam, then I would not care at all and I will be in my own bolt of blue.

4. If I like something, like a song, I would put it on replay and listen to it day in and day out. If I like a certain food, I would buy it everyday til I cant even stomach the sight of it.Bila suka something I cam takde life gile and will do anything to get it,terutamanya makanan la.

5. Every small thing can make me either really sad or really happy, I am easily affected by other people's suffering and joy, even if I'm aware it has nothing to do with me.

6. I am a good storymaker, and often suprise myself on the extent of my drama..I plan to quit being a good liar,..soon :)

7. I love walking. No matter the distance, I just love walking.

8. I enjoy having time alone, I make lawak2 kampung,and gelak and amuse myself.

mind on a rainbow

2007-10-07T23:32:00.001+09:30

We sent Inaaz at the airport, it is now the moment of temporary separation from the one girl that annoys me so much, on an otherwise day that she will make me laugh the hardest.
I managed to hand-up my report on time, however the content appears vague to me.. had i used the 3 weeks prior to the due date, I could have done better. I hate all-nighters..especially ones where u have to finish up something. agggh.
sumpah tak procrastinate dah.
So anyways, tonight I went through rainbows and it was sooo much fun..the most I had in days.
weeeeeeeeee home is just a month away

Last Day of Break maaaan

2007-10-01T19:03:00.000+09:30

ugh so today I woke up late, to find that nasha was already here to go trhough our psych report. not that anything was done by today. I went to teman her at the bus stop and went to buy some groceries at IGA. I cooked, mopped, and did my laundry..felt good that this day has not gone unproductive, well kinda.

I am somewhat ambivalent about my classes starting tomorrow. Exam timetables are out, so I have around a month and 4 days until my first paper.
The plan we made to head straight to Penang upon sampai KLIA nanti is sooo tempting!
Penang, I have always loved the place..the food, the people,but not the drivers.

While talking to cham last nite, he made me feel that I should stop all the complaints about Uni being hard and yadayada..I know I am lucky to be here, and opportunites are just around the corner. I am realizing the fact that I could aim for a job here, save up to buy a beetle,travel nak pegi Trinidad Tobago pun boleh if I just make up my mind and follow through. Inspiration is everywhere.
So, since I am baaaad with azam baru and such..my aim tomorrow is to stop complaining about school..tsk see how long that will last.

When I Was 21

2007-09-29T18:46:00.000+09:30

When I was 21, I went home from my first year abroad..and went on a roadtrip with friends I had since I was 15.
When I was 21, I moved to a new house in Adelaide and welcomed many new changes.
I took French, and suck at it.
I did badly in that semester.
I grew closer to several people,and distant to some.
When I was 21, I tried my very first magic herb..and laughed. and decided,no more and then again..
When I was 21, I let myself loose but still, found solace in God.
When I was 21, I watched The Cure alone.
I learnt that inner peace is something you have to discover.
When I was 21, we had get-togethers almost every other day.
I decided to focus more in Uni, and Uni became more inspiring.
I watched The Shins and loved it...along with other gigs.
I watched more indie /foreign films.
I started buying classics.
When I was 21, I was still in love with the guy I was in love with 4 years ago.
He came to visit,and we had so much fun
I watched my first stand-up comedy
I went to my first club here, and I do still go occasionally but I know now, that I am definitely not the clubbing type.
I had two new jobs that helped me survive..kinda.
When I was 21, I decided to grow up..but falter.
When I was 21, I grew closer to my adik.
I was involved in the Merdeka celebration..that stresses me out at the time.
I had so much fuuuun and less homesick.
When I was 21, I went through many changes, and in the end, to become more of myself.
When I was 21, I got a new pet rabbit.
I spent so much time thinking on random things.
I laughed a lot, day in and day out.
I met many new people on whom I instantly became close to.
When I was 21, I decided to make the best of whatever that I encounter in my path.

As I turn 22, I decided to take up anything that interests me, save to go to any new places that I've never been to and to hold dear to my heart,the simple things that I sometimes forget.

Some Things That Stay

2007-09-27T21:20:00.000+09:30

photography will always be my passion.

Good times

2007-09-24T04:05:00.000+09:30

The really good times are simple.
Good times are when you have good company, good laughs, and a good attitude :)
Inaaz's friend Nik came down from sydney and and and he has a nikon slr D80..what I will kumpul my duit for.
oooh I got a job already, at the kumon centre. I will start on tuesday and will pakai pretty2..hoho excited gileee!

talking to my mum soothes me..her voice is like magic.

2007-09-20T04:47:00.000+09:30

I am now officially a stalker :D

sumpah bosan nak mampus cuti.

Home

2007-09-18T03:28:00.000+09:30

It's 3 am and I am wide awake in my room.
My thoughts revolves around home. The familiar faces, sounds and smell.
I am in the absence of so many things that I used to live by.
All the concerts, the random activities, the new places, the experiences here..pale in comparison to home right now.
I keep telling myself that it will get better,and the days will go by so so fast.
However, for now, I can only indulge in this huge absence. This homesick feeling.

I am miles away from the people who gives the best hugs.

No matter how busy I make myself here, not a day goes by that I do not think of home.
Some things never change,and some things never will.

blogblog i am going to play pacman sampai asleep bye.

Ramadhan

2007-09-15T13:49:00.000+09:30

It is now ramadhan.

Dulu, after terawih i would drive to dawood to meet up with ili and eton. I remember that when i arrive dawood, they would be there waiting pasal diorg malas terawih, and ili would only go lepas bapak dia bising2 suruh pegi.haha..

Dulu, in college, inaaz and i would siap siap letak roti, biskut, air, junk foods tepi katil. When alarm for sahur bunyi, we would just bangun and tanpa buka mata sit upright in bed and raba2 dalam gelap makanan2 yang dah disusun elok2. pastu makan sebanyak yang boleh, dan tidur semula. takyah gosok gigi or buka lampu or buka mata.
gile pemalas right?

oooh and when i was small, i would always go to masjid shah alam with amirah. we would always pray at the level atas pasal from there we could intai budak laki laki yang at that time la, we think they were super hot. So what we did was, buat bunyi2 kisskiss rempit tu,then belum pun 8 rakaat we dah turun bawah and beli air kotak from vending.
beli air kotak = stalk guys. woiiii gile buruk perangai.

i miss my mum's cooking.and pasar ramadhan.

Our carefree days

2007-09-11T11:45:00.000+09:30

On sunday, we had a bbq at rymill. The performers of the nite were there, we ended up playing baling selipar and pepsi cola woohooo :) mesti kelakar the aussies tgk all these asians baling selipar to each other.
I felt that that day was more malaysian than the merdeka nite itself. It was unscripted and understandable.
Semua ornag pernah main these games growing up, it was kinda cool to have all these budak budak besar to still be familiar with these game kampungs.memang best gileee.

I act childish at times, that i know very well.Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that if you let the inner child in you out at times, you could well end up enjoying an otherwise stressful day.There is a beauty in being amazed in small little things, and letting down your guard, I guess. You could very well smile your widest.

Remember when you were 15, and half of the things you did back then, were unexplainable. Like masa you ponteng just to makan roti canai pastu kena kejar dengan cikgu naik motor, masa u try your first ciggie,masa you run run in the rain and was carefree of the fact that you would look dodgy and mungkin demam,when you had small probs with ustazah,masa you got busted for all these stupid stupid things pastu tanak mengaku,and when you and your friends drive keta mak bapak pastu kantoi dan yeah. ili+eton+nana if you are reading this, note that i missss gile babi all these!
All those things that we did, we did simply because there was no reason. At the time, we did not need any reason to do anything,we just went ahead and did it. Now tell me, weren't those days the ones that makes you laugh the most now? :)

Mindset

2007-09-04T11:08:00.000+09:30

insignificant ramblings .homesick.opinions. harsh words. soothing words. random small things. running in the rain.strong advices. beloved old friends. ciggie butts. candid photos. in need of change. phase of never changing. dreams,goals and ambitions. dissapointments. new music. fear and wants. impressions. new found bliss.

Growing up.

I was happier then with no mindset.

Oblivion

2007-09-02T20:12:00.000+09:30

since the whole merdeka hype, i wasnt able to have some time alone.the constant surrounding composed of strong opinions, strong personalities, and what nots disables me to write anything that is of a personal level. so ive decided to have that time alone this week yay :) much needed and overdue.

hahaa that gambar kan, i remember really well coz i used to have so many time alone during that period.agak loser la kan.

p/s: hey billy aku dgr u were a rocksetar that nite.girl girl follow ko la apela..go go billy :) thanks la call aku before the gig, eton. was nice :)

That Night

2007-09-02T19:27:00.000+09:30

The nite we all worked our butts off for two months, turned out to be a gempak-gile-babi-woi besssst event :) uuuuu bangga. I'm going to miss the rehearsals, intense meeting, selling tickets in between class, rehearsals rehearsals, jerit jerit and drama, and the euphoric dikir barat.

hard work does pay off, kan ikan kan? oh the adik dah balik syd. save duit aku.

Our merdeka

2007-08-31T23:44:00.000+09:30

MERDEKA :)

the sambutan was goood and there is more to come. merdeka countdown sangatlah seronok kerana kami semua menyanyi lagu lagu patriotik!

may the makna of merdeka slowly diffuse in our heart, through our actions, and not just words.

MALAYSIA SUDAH 50 WOOOTWOOOT!

2007-08-29T20:24:00.000+09:30

hello blogblog. I had full classes today. and one loooong lab. woke up at 8, but just could not muster up the school spirit wootwoot to get ready. and so...i was late again, kali ke 5 ke class yang sama.arrived at 9.30 for my 9 .00 class. so thats how my day started.followed by two lectures. and a lab prac that requires us to increase our patience/tolerance level as we had to wait for stupid thing to...ahhh nevermind.

i between classes, i was at the booth to jual tiket dinner. i really want it to be soldout come saturday.after academic yadayada headed to choc bean. aaaa familiar faces and sugar rush overtook my flailing hurting muscles and pening kepala ;)

you know blogblog, in between running and meals-on-the-go, i had a sudden urge to be home.

i miss them. i miss the good old days where we would sit at mamak and complain of boredom.i miss siap siap for date dengan hemi azram. i miss all that...but home seems so so far away right now, i just have to finish up what is on my plate, and get on with it,huh? after all, i am grateful.

surely, there is no place like home.

and that is me on my dapur counter, i know this pic really well. i looked happy (and retarded) as i was thinking of things that are close to home :)

2007-08-26T22:35:00.000+09:30

hey blogblog. its been a craaazy hectic week. monday, the adik came from syd. awakened by him screaming for me to keluar and pay his cab.several classes and tutes at full blast, annoying bitchy labmates,masak nasi lemak, jual nasi lemak,ni la keje aku, malaysian carnival, drama rehearsals,outings,shoppping,and drama ticket sellings..i can safely say, i am in one tired piece..but there is more to come.

sometimes,i look back at old pics just to remember a certain time where i was more carefree.

2007-08-20T13:04:00.000+09:30

hello blogblog. yesterday was a hectic one. i woke up and basuh tangan my two fav band shirt in the world-the shins and the cure, s'il vous plait ;)

been doing that and keep on wearing the shins to uni, til people go isnt that dah pakai yada yada...i'd go shhhhudddup! my the shins baju would hancur, i tell ya.oh soo anyways hooosays,

inaaz and i went to the city to beli stuff for fatin's party. inaaz and hamdi wanted to share a gift for fatin, fine i thought. tapi, it was a disaster. they seem to argue over every little detail, inaaz managed to even putuskan this rantai at david jones in the midst of the petty arguments, AND shrieked kenapa koraaang tak tolong? to blame us on her clumsiness! pastu pening kepala aku.

finally, the duo pun settled on this luuurvely top. my head, was still pening.

we got hold of balloons and foods, ariff picked us up, headed home. started cooking with hamdi in the kitchen, laughing about inaaz, like we always do. until she turns up, that is.

then fatin came and we ate and played games of imitating people til its lame and she wanted to tgk bujang lapuk so we watched but the ever annoying hamdi tu time nila jugak nak do his dumb less than 1% quiz and soo everyone was yada yada,then enter rahmah. out of nowhere, she came on her way to sports bar, but then the game was cancelled and so she lepak with us amidst the mess. hard to feed her coz she is a vegetarian. never had i met a malay vegetarian. me n fatin joked on how we would die kekeringan tanpa daging because we are carnivours..haha ;)

slept at 2 when eveyone dh balik and decided to kemas2 besok pagi, that is today, so here i am. inaaz n ariff still tido and i am halfay thru my errands. ooooh oooh we gave fatin a card saying fatin's nonok is 20..blooody-o ;)

actually ikan keli, i have to leave u know blogblog..as i have to kemas and mandi and wake these giants and go uni..get an education for my increasingly ngokngek brain. gotstugo~

2007-08-19T11:47:00.000+09:30

paint your face with our malaysian flag!

paint your other non-malaysian friends with our malaysian flag

paint your kawan yang sedang tidur/pakcik tua sebelah rumah/lecturer/pekedai with our malaysian flag

annnnddd..paint your heart with it too ;)

p/s: come in front of adelaide uni resource center every friday. $1 FOR A FACEPAINT. please please korang?

2007-08-19T11:01:00.000+09:30

THE SHINS, THE CURE, MAXIMO PARK ROOOOCK MY SOCKS!!

oh but the gambar is neither, he is from the ruby suns <----- check them out ;)

So, all the concerts and what nots dah habis for me, ending with maximo last nite..u know, they sound like arctic monkeys but less marah. and the lead is seeeexxxyyy tau..he moves to the beat of the drums. he wears the work attire and the jazz hat.super cool! sangat orgasmic.haha pastu pastu i get to pegang his hand. tak basuh til now hahaha lame. nadia nak go to JT saying he is sex on legs..ok, pervert ;)

i know billy is doing some gigs around merdeka,at home. check his band, lovesickavenue. i wish i was home,though. i wouldnt miss it for the world if i had a choice.however,to billy : i have hope that u guys will be big and humble ;) kan eton kan?

anyhoooss, i have sent out many many resumes..cam babiiiii no one replied.

and God knows i need a car tapi cam kena rebelajar manual if nak cheap ones..damn la kan.

ok for now..we are going to suprise fatin for her bday, and i am supposed to masak something something. iam still mandiless though. isnt that how sunday mornings are supposed to be?

have a nice sunday,sunshines!

2007-08-16T16:10:00.000+09:30

it is....

15 days to merdekaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am excited gileeee babiiiii because eventhough i am nowhere near homeward bound, i get to celebrate it. i am proud of our efforts so far, we made many people aware of it at uni..ignorant aussies and all.

what does it really mean to be malaysian?

i am still learning, and i do not know for sure.

However, being malaysian is what i have always been, and what i will always be. That, i know for sure. ooooohhh saya sedang semangat patriotik dan may sound like your cikgu sejarah.

a hot one, though ;)

2007-08-09T20:59:00.000+09:30

What is it about being and changes and all that you miss and everything in between? Thats me up there. I forgot that I even had that pic.

Lately, I find myself thinking abundantly about random things. I spend so much of my time just flowing my random thoughts. I make promises like wanting to save duit after dah pegi 2 concert, and find myself buying benda ntah pape. I make myself wake up in the morning to go to class, and still find myself berlari lari semput semput sebab tanak be late for class yet again.

I insists on buying or petik fresh flowers to be put in the living room, that we would constantly smoke in. I mean, who does that? Why put fresh flowers when you will only blow endless fog from nicotine and your mind?

I do not have answers to even my own questions. However, I do know that I know myself really well. Maybe I am changing,or maybe I am becoming more of myself.

Enough about me. fatin is here to paint bendera malaysia...she is bising bising tak dilayan.

bye sunshines =)

2007-07-16T13:15:00.000+09:30

hemi azram has left for home after 2 minggu bersama saya. any longer, i think he would have cekik-ed me. we pegi melbourne,stand up comedy, tgk koalas n kangaroos,blabla. i miss u sunshine. u ni dah datang nak balik balik pula..duduk jelah adelaide diam diam..haish.

my cuti is the tinggal lagi seminggu.
tak tau nak buat ape..and my duit in the bank is -17.88AUD. cane boleh negative?..jahanam.
i miss u eton n billy. i wish i was there for u guys when billy had his first gig kat pauls place..wootwoot. bangga aku. go go billy rocksetar =)
and eton. you will be FINE. he is a jahanam setan gondol and u deserve better because u r OUR precious eton.

im currently reading the great gatsby,f.scott fitzgerald.konon2 nak jadi pandai-er sebelum school starts. ok shut up.

2007-05-17T07:20:00.000+09:30

People say changes are good.

Things started to change around the 16th of april, and by things, I include myself.

You moved to a new house, and suddenly, you seem to forget the mundane life you used to have at the old one. By you, I mean me.

Its like everything that happened leading to that point, just tralala away.

I wanted to be lost somewhere. To be so carefree. I was breezing through the days, leaving so many things behind.

I tried something that was sooo much fun, and decided that I would still be happy without it. I guess I did suprised dear friends back home (hi eton) with my choice, tapi ianya sangat fuuuun ok. I closed my eyes and let me be. Best gile pasal gelak cam banyak banyak wootwoot! (hi eton)

I started to grow closer to certain friends here..I enjoy their company, their words, their laughter. I like to think that this house brings us all together. Friends come here to have loud laughters, to cry their hearts out, or just to watch tv and share leftover pizzas in the morning. At times, I would just accompany her have her ciggie..and just watch things dwindle from the curl of the smoke.

I indulge in every whim, every wish, and every craving that I have in mind. I go to wherever I feel like going. I do whatever I want at the point of when the random thought occured. Spoken words and foreign flowers.

Spontaneity comes with a price, and there was one point, when I realised I can't afford to pay it.

Mostly, for being irresponsible.

Things happened far to fast. It has been a month, and I am settled now. Saya perlu belajar.

I would say I am happy. With the new house, the new company, the new found something that I have yet to find an appropriate word for it.

*have a nice day, sunshines*

2007-04-05T07:58:00.000+09:30

"So what, so i've got a smile on. Its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head. Don't believe me. Don't you dare believe me"

*you have to give it up to him, he can play*

after the concert :

us : eehh john ke tu?

john mayer : ok tak aku tadi?

wootwoooot ;) i could only afford the tour poster. oh well..

2007-03-22T22:14:00.000+10:30

After a long day at uni, i came back home and headed for the kitchen. I announced to Selena "Selena,i'm hungry"

She jawab balik,in her broken english

"if u hungry then u eat hungry jack"

teehee that made me gelak tahan perut ok.

So i guess,no matter how busy you are..take some time to smell the roses, communicate, sit on the grass, grab a snack, say hello, post a postcard, or just sit for 2 minutes watching the day unravel itself..you might like it.

p/s: i have decided to dislike this minah mat saleh yang suka swear2 sambil cakap kuat2 dan complain bout banyak keje everytime class..oh shut up already,other people are not interested in your daily ramblings,and no,it does not make you cool. There!

Au revoir~

2007-03-12T12:30:00.000+10:30

<--------- grooovy groooovy people on my groooovy schmooovy wall.

Yesterday I got me an ironing board..a small one, at ikea. I was thinking since my meja kecik, so I can study on it also.

Then at harbor town, I got me wedges that are striped blue n white for only $3..hehe happiness.

Last nite, I had dinner with inaaz's parents, makan sedap.

This morning I woke up and ate reheated leftover pizza from last nite.

I am getting annoyed with apple. He bite me when I was trying to cabut this selo tape he ate.

Stupid apple..beli carrot tak makan.

So it has been well so far. Home is still where I would want to be in a heartbeat.

However, as long as we are here, lets enjoy the free ride.

See ya sunshines~

"and if you're lonely, I will be here waiting for you"

2007-03-04T15:00:00.000+10:30

Its been a hectic week, and today its sunday.SUNDAY IS AHAD DAH! I am not the most organized girl and sometimes i doubt la kan..however for my sanity, I do try to keep things together.

Only today had I been able to really lay down and breathe. Rasa cam kejap je dah end of the week whereas i still can fell the thin air at klia..on my fingertips, no kidding.

I am now living with Aida, Selena from China and gloris glories i dont know how her name works, from Macau.

You know how they say that an idle mind is a devil's workshop? Well I've been really busy to make myself settled this 2nd year, and I hardly nangis nangis missing him at all. bangga la hehe~

So this asian girl pegila unpack. beli daging la, buat appointments, go to classes, meet up with kawans, springclean the house,pick up apple the cutie pie yg dah makin behave,cash in bank stuff,loving the beach,and now..dah kul 3 petang and I am still mandiless and just absorbing on days gone by.

John mayer is coming,pakcik tu..manela aku nak cari duits duits ni.

note to self is currently to cari keje secepat mungkin..supaya ade duits dan agak busy supaya tidak homesick-ass.

I am missing him,really..and the usual precious people I gelak gelak with. However, I cam nak formally promise myself to be strong dan hang in there dan cari keje dan keep busy dan Insya-Allah I will be okay.

Be good,sunshines!

2007-02-28T23:24:00.000+10:30

Coming home was like a dream come true. Sometimes you apprecite and acknowledges the presence of something when you don't have it, whereas its been there all along.

I was semangat sampai tak sleep in the flight. Then I saw lights,miles and miles of it. As soon as the plane landed, I was filled with glee.My favourite line.."and to all malaysians,welcome home" Happy rasa nak lompat lompat.

He fetched me from the airport,that familiar smile.

We went to our kwayteow place,that familiar ambience,and that familiar taste,the familiar sights and sounds.Both of us like gelak2 for we have been imagining this moment like total losers.

The next day, I heard a familiar voice. uncle,hola ade? ili dammit so i ran and ran to see him and eton then she drove through the familiar routes and to razin's house. I was surrounded by familiar voices dan kali ni live ok. We ate nasi ayam pak mal, that familiar stuffy place. The familiar sangatlah lame jokes.

That night hetook me to makan at kg.baru..I wanted so much to makan there the past 9months.

The familiar neon lights. Here, I am a local. I belong and I was happy.

So that was my first day at home. Familiar is nice. Familiar things makes me warm. However, once in a while, stepping out of the familiar stuff makes you grow, if not much pun, grow to appreciate it.

2007-02-28T21:21:00.000+10:30

Petaling street has its own charm.

2006-11-14T19:44:00.000+10:30

weeeeeeee! The countdown, the one i kira everyday, the one i change patiently everyday, the one on my mirror is now 7 days.

7 days ialah seminggu!

"ili, nanti aku pegi australia,balik nak jadi hot la"

"8 tahunla ko dok sana hola,baru ko hot"

*ili sambil gelak golek golek*

I don't know why I'm friends with him,seriously.

oh dan untuk membuktikan ke-lame ass-an saya, saya sudah start packing.bag besar lagi. tak sabar balik ok. yay yay! I miss everyone.

2006-11-08T21:02:00.000+10:30

Everyone needs a candy berwarna biru during exam week. ngehngeh!

2006-11-07T22:40:00.000+10:30

Because. This little girl in the bus kept on saying "because" whenever her father asks her a reason for something. "Why did you say that she is a bad lady, renee?"

to which she would reply "because."

haha i find it really funny, and witty of her. Pasal at the end of the day, because is still a reason,
and when you are asked to give a reason, it does not matter if the reason is betul or not la kan?
It is your reason.

lapar gileee i suddenly crave kwayteow..14 days weeeeeeeee!!!

2006-11-07T17:19:00.000+10:30

<--- Thats jacqui. dia ni agak jakun.

will i ever get cool friends? *sighhh*

2006-11-03T23:16:00.000+10:30

I think that the symbol of harmony and hope is everywhere, you just have to know you are looking at it.

To a cikai amateur like me, that is the beauty of photography.

2006-10-27T13:27:00.000+09:30

You have always been confused. You have always been different. You have never been in love.
Then you turn 18.

Your world turns around and you found happiness like no other. The first of any that you have ever felt. You were in love, you found the source.

You wait for his sms. You reply.By editing it 5 times and re-reading it before sending.

You were not his girl yet. You never thought you could be. You were too insecure.

You made a promise to yourself that you would not let it control you.

A year later, he asked you out.

You were so nervous,and so excited.

You don't know what to wear. You have never been the sole attention of any guy.

Your friends tell you that you look nice. You doubt your beauty. You doubt yourself.

You went anyway, and could not have been happier.

You replay the night in your head, like a movie.

You are amazed by the way he carries himself, by his easygoing character.

Time flies by. You now belong to what used to be a dream.

You spend time together. You love every bit of the time with him.

You share your thoughts,feelings. When he doesn't, you think you don't deserve.

You share your friends with him,you feel so proud. When he doesn't, you questioned yourself.

You give it time. He showed himself.

You turn 20.

You went away from home, from him, from comfort.

You miss him terribly. You talk to him almost every night.

He sends you so many cards. He sends you so many gifts.

You became closer to him.

You turn 21.

What matters is this. That familiar voice is never enough.

He was always there for you.

He was where you draw your strength.

You count the days to be home.

You love him whole-heartedly.

You have always known that about yourself.

You want what is best for him, for the bond.

You throw tantrums, get emo. He is always there. Always.

You are still that confused insecure girl.

You found happiness like no other.

.

2006-10-21T11:33:00.000+09:30

Street lights. Neon lights. Any lights. I am fascinated at the sight of it. Its form of how it represents itself to you. Its presence that makes a difference to a deserted otherwise busy road.

To me, lights revives memories of being at home.

Lights alligining petaling street on my first date..teehee~
Lights dancing at my sight on every aimless drive throughout the city that i would later miss.
Lights decorating the side of the street each time i drive to send a friend away overseas.
Lights upon arrival to home, as if greeting me after leaving it.
Lights that we used to laugh at in shah alam "apela buruk gile"..good times ;)
Lights that shown on us in front of ili's house,where we would laugh and talk to our heart's content
Lights that was on the rollercoaster on where i first said i love him.what a ride it has been so far.
Lights that transforms houses in my neighbourhood come any given festival.
Lights that defines a place where he would always take me to makan kwayteow,eventho the meja like senget, the lights there could not have projected a more beautiful image.
Lights that were with us dekat dawood where we would talk non-stop and how miles away, i could stil picture the ambience.

and Lights scattered around my home where i looked upon from my aeroplane window.

Lights that a confused but curious girl tried to soak up as much as she can,knowing that it would be a year till she gets to see it.

It is now 31 days to hooome..yayy!! I can't wait to embrace each neon, each spark, each glimpse of light upon reaching home ;)

2006-10-17T19:51:00.000+09:30

Oh my mundayy..

I know I should be studying nowadays but I just can't bring myself to do so.
Why la kan nak study here but not actually pouring over the lessons. Spare me the homesickness,good food,good company and all that i left behind.I keep telling myself that I should make all that I missed out, worthwhile..but heyho look at meeee.
I am caught up on :

1. Household drama [living in a house full of girls,what do u expect?]<-- GILE DRAMAAA!! 2.My uncontrolable desire to go out and hang the whole day with friends here.
3.MASCA event planning,not even the events itself.
4.OXFAM charity..okk ni not so la kan.
5.my sheer malasness
6.Running errands,groceries,blabla stuff..to keep me at least settled,and cukup makan.

Yesterday was a monday. I woke up with the intention of missing my 10am lecture. I booked flight tickets for sydney and then I was lalalala around the house,having decided to go to my 1pm class.Apela kan,should I have done something academically inclined I would prolly be 2% prepeared for my finals.ngeh.Oh I did call him =). I love morning calls..his voice like rocker a bit la kan..poor thing.

I don't know what I learn in my stats lecture most of the time but I went to jot the notes anyway. Seriously, statistics doesn't go with lectures, I have to do it then I understand. Pelikla listen to her explain the F-test [not the f word la mind u] step by step. Tak make sense talking about stats okkk,u hve to do it..well for me la kan. Nana should know better,she is the only fren I know yg suka kira2 stuff.

After that dreadful one hour, I went to get almond chocs at woolies. They are the cheapest [so i can afford to melantak on them]. I ate them but takut gakla budak mesia nampak like that day when I was happily munching on them, ada suara sumbang "aiii dah raya ke?" gr babiness.

I terjumpa nadia yg dragged me to teman her try baju,hence missing my 3pm class.Half the time dalam kedai she bukan beli but went on and on "mahal gile..bodohla" hahah. Then I rushed pegi lib at 3.30 to siapkan my stats tute, on which the class is at 4pm. Haiissh.

Adela couple dalam my stats tute yg ultimately annoying tau tak. They make-out, they talk about each other kuat gile, they talk non=stop dan gelak about tak lawak stuff [clever stats joke that I tak faham =p] and the most annoying part is they get all the jawapan betul.eleh must b pasal tiru each other or repeat paper. HAH!!

I don't know y I wrote about my monday, the first day that has to set the mood for the week.
I really want to be serious about my edu. First time in my life.

I am in awe at some of the international students whom I got to know, that could actually act like tak heran with all these petty small stuff and FOCUS on their studies. I know several people who came from poor countries,wanting an education that could help their people.. and living here on the money the make by working at petrol stations etc.I respect them, they are my inspiration.

2006-10-08T15:14:00.000+09:30

Fleeeee markets!
You meet the weirdest people there at times,most of the time,..all the time.
I came late to the booth today. Sherry was beaming when she saw me [not because I am a source of happiness la kan,means she can pegi lunch]. This old lady came to the booth to buy a summer hat, she asked me "do you make any of these?" haha gile la kan if I can handcraft. I told her these handmade stuff are from third world countries. Above all the possible replies she could have given me, she just had to say "oooohh you lazy girl"..eeeee hellooo makcik! suka hati betul. oh well..she is cute and seems really happy with her partner. Then out of boredom, I juggled hacky sacs for Sherry's entertainment. This guy came up to say "how many can u do?"
I know I will never meet him again so I lied and said "err 5" ada ke dia suruh juggle 5! "oh really..lets see then". Gaaaa don't people trust each other anymore? I quickly laughed and say I can't juggle. He had a smirk on his face, pointed to his daughter and said she can juggle 3. I obligingly gave 3 hacky sacs..and the girl reallyyyy can juggle. Everyone clapped. Shaarrkss malu gile,Sherry was laughing at me so hard. This time, a ldy came and made fun of a product we had. Its a bright orange bag, that says fun chums. She laughed so had and said "whaaatt the...fun chums?!!" Dahla gelak, then tak beli plak tu. Haishh kinda rude to gelak at third world country people..haha. Then I was with Danielle, this glamorous lady came spotting an extravagant jacket. Danielle being her, said "your jacket looks like one of our product from Vietnam..its beautiful" The lady didn't even smile,and just walked away! I said to Danielle, the jacket tak cantik pun She screamed to the lady "Well I was lyingggg!!!". Then this guy who keeps saying he would come to buy something but never did. So many characters man. All saturated at the flea market. I luurrve flea markets. The sound of live acoustic music just adds beauty to my saturday afternoon ambience.

2006-10-02T10:03:00.000+09:30

Words words words that matters most

"Takpela nangis sayang,you are the bravest girl I know" well,I failed to say out loud "but dear,you don't know many girls"..haha I didn't want to spoil the innocent hopeful look he had when he said it. I remember the humming of the engine,the eerie darkness of his deserted college.,the faint patter of footsteps of people outside the car.The kind of sound that people make when they seret their selipar instead of step step step. I remember how he looked at me and I know he wished for me to stop nangisla kan,but me being the drama queen that I am,just ould not do so. That was amongst our last dates together. He was tired,as the car's tyre had burst earlier on and he repaired it himself while I,not knowing what to do,went to buy plasters for his cut finger at a near shop.. and just drooool tengok him repair the car,while jokingly say things like "ni sangat macam drama,susah senang sama2 kan sayang?" then he tilt his head backards to laugh at the situation. I remember how he fold his shirt to baiki the tyre thingie..and how he tunjuk the cut he had on his finger. I love the fact that not many things can make him go "arrggh!". how he is mediumly happy in any given situation. He makes me feel that as long as he is beside me,everything is fun fun fun. I miss that feeling.

"I feel fine and I feel good. I feel like I never should" how i miss it when the constant one sings it and I try to learn to play it one too many times but was too enamoured. My lack of concentration is evident at that time but she..keeps on singing.Now macam I can almost feel the moment on my fingertips,the still air of my living room,the faint sound of empty tv[mtv nana!],the hollow feeling in our tummy. How we just woke up from a whole night of borak tak ingat dunia,only to be awaken with heavy thuds on our heads. Then I would send her to the bus station where she then,I would find myself driving there again to pick her up a week later.haha. she can't stand it at "tragic kingdom". I felt honoured each time I get to pick her sorry ass from the station,instead of her sister or bwada.Hehe. Because,well only because. And coz she gives the best hugs with "holaaaaaa".I miss that.

"Takpe hola..dia ok.err dia tengah main game tu..aku tau" haha gile emo I was at that time. But what happened that nite was proof of the strength of his friendship.I remember sitting on the edge of the seat of my car,and he was standing in front of me,holding a box of tissue with floral prints on them.Kleenex. He had a worried panic-ish look,that was almost hysterical to think of it now.But noooo..not at that time. I was crying for nothing [time tu rasa nangis pasal benda penting la kan] ,and he,the friend I would keep for life, frantically tried to console me to stop..and I remember,in his desperation to make his bestfriend stop nangis,he buka the radio "dengar lagu dulu..nanti ko rasa okaaayy sket kot hola" haha.tak jadila wei. I cried even more. "Ish.OK aku tau..ko tunggu aku amik topi" haha.How nice of him.To teman me cari the person I bodohly thought hilang.I remember how silent the nite was,how bright the light from his house and the yellow light pole shun lights on our faces..and the pathetic sound of my car engine. How I miss the comfort.

"Aku risaula kat ko..ko pegi sana tak kenal orang.Nanti ko sampai kan,ko buat je kawan.Cakap je dengan sape2 tau hola..jangan duduk sorang2,nanti ko homesick" I remember us sitting at a mamak,eaing roti canai. The smoke from his cig annoyingly brushes the air that I breathe.The buzz of noise from our background,the clattering of plates,and the faint voices of conversations,makes me pay full attention to grasp the whole being of his words. I thought that if I could hold on to every small bit of advice that everyone shoves at me, I would be just fine when I arrive here in Adelaide. I remember his exact words. I remember the concern look he had,which I think wasnt normal. He wasnt one who would show that he cares.haha but pagi tu he openly said he does,only because "lagi bape hari je ko dah fly kan?" haha. I miss those few sincere words.

"Nanti awak dah takde kat sini" haha she is as emo as me. I showed her the scrapbook,filled with photos of my loved ones..and indirectly,her pics.Suddenly,in the middle of the busy noisy mamak seksyen3,she cried.and cried!. I ran to change my seat,to be seated next to her.I hugged her. then we gelak like kuat gile.That was just a couple of minute to spare before she leaves to drive back to Penang. I remember how she smiled as she hugged me in front of my house. Later,fastforward several days, she was in a car with Ama,then I stood in front of my gate,waving my heavy hand. She stuck her face out of the window of Ama's car..and she waved,imitating a sad face. They couldn't send me to the airport,so that image of Ama driving away,and Nad's head out of the window was the last I saw of them before Adelaide. How i miss their constant laughter.

2006-09-20T14:24:00.000+09:30

My Malaysia : a tribute through pictures.
I began to fully appreciate the beauty of my country after nearly 9 bulan of being apart from the people, the food, the mamak, and the sense of belonging. This is a picture of my home, Shah Alam. Ramai cakap shah alam boring gile.I say, you can take the girl out of shah alam,but you cant take shah
alam out of the girl =p My pride. The Malaysia definition I wish to brag to the world. No matter what my country's flaws are, it is my country. tak sabar nak balik.
The Dataran. Can't help feeling sangatlah anak malaysia and patriotic when i drive past it. Well, except time sesat sesat.

I took this pic in penang. The ultramans are lined up kat tepi jalan to be sold to passerbys. Hehe.."mana nak dapat a scene camni kat tempat lain,beb?" [suara rempit]. Penang, my second favourite negeri of my Malaysia.

2006-09-19T22:29:00.000+09:30

Ngeh. As i turn 21, I decided to start a real blog as an act of orang dah besar. What that means, I still don't know,but I am on my quest to find out.
Being sangatlah lame and homesick, I got an idea of doing 21 new things before my 21st beday (yeah lame). Right. So the next day, I went to uni as usual. I went to the voting booth and wanted to vote for my student president (well 1st new thing). I have never voted,so I ticked off as much girl names as possible..teehee. Hsins,my ex housemate (long story) screamed "feminist la!" what the heck.susahla vote.The next day, konon konon nak join this medical research on birth control pills,so they took my blood sample yada yada..then I had to friggin run on a threadmill for what seems at the time, eternity~ well I'm getting paid $50 for that,mind you. I have never felt so drained,cursing myself "nak sangat do new things konon". I joined oxfam, a charity group which helps the MAKE TRADE FAIR campaign by selling third world products. I love them,they are awesome. However much i try to "grow up", I would somehow still be a kid, memalukan diri sendiri seperti melatah dengan kuat and amplified "oh mak kau" depan omputih at uni,then them laughing like mad at "what did you say..uu mack kauh?" eleh ngade ngade.I dont knowla,but i learnt this the hard way. There is something amazing about being out of your comfort zone,even if it means tak dapat makan tosai kari kambing. I encourage anyone who reads my first blegh attempt at blogspot,to do something new..like a new biscuit type. Could be fun. whatever. Anyway this first blog entry, as crappy as it may turn out to be..i dedicate it to nana. my constant one. and ahmad khairi. my friend for life. and to hemi azram. my precious.

*bless you*